Better way to set distance between flexbox items

Question

• Flexbox doesn't have collapsing margins.
• Flexbox doesn't have anything akin to border-spacing for tables (edit: CSS property gap fulfills this role in newer browsers, Can I use)

Therefore achieving what you are asking for is a bit more difficult.

In my experience, the "cleanest" way that doesn't use :first-child/:last-child and works without any modification on flex-wrap:wrap is to set padding:5px on the container and margin:5px on the children. That will produce a 10px gap between each child and between each child and their parent.

Demo

.upper {
  margin: 30px;
  display: flex;
  flex-direction: row;
  width: 300px;
  height: 80px;
  border: 1px red solid;

  padding: 5px; /* this */
}

.upper > div {
  flex: 1 1 auto;
  border: 1px red solid;
  text-align: center;

  margin: 5px;  /* and that, will result in a 10px gap */
}

.upper.mc /* multicol test */ {
  flex-direction: column;
  flex-wrap: wrap;
  width: 200px;
  height: 200px;
}

<div class="upper">
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
</div>

<div class="upper mc">
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa<br/>aaa<br/>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
  <div>aaa</div>
</div>

This is not a hack. The same technique is also used by bootstrap and its grid, though, instead of margin, bootstrap uses padding for its cols.

.row {
  margin:0 -15px;
}
.col-xx-xx {
  padding:0 15px;
}

CSS gap property:

There is a new gap CSS property for multi-column, flexbox, and grid layouts that works in newer browsers now! (See Can I use link 1; link 2). It is shorthand for row-gap and column-gap.

#box {
  display: flex;
  flex-wrap: wrap;
  width: 200px;
  background-color: red;
  gap: 10px;
}
.item {
  background: gray;
  width: 50px;
  height: 50px;
  border: 1px black solid;
}

<div id='box'>
  <div class='item'></div>
  <div class='item'></div>
  <div class='item'></div>
  <div class='item'></div>
</div>

CSS row-gap property:

The row-gap CSS property for both flexbox and grid layouts allows you to create a gap between rows.

#box {
   display: flex;
   row-gap: 10px;
}

CSS column-gap property:

The column-gap CSS property for multi-column, flexbox and grid layouts works allows you to create a gap between columns.

#box {
  display: flex;
  column-gap: 10px;
}

Flexbox and css calc with multiple rows support

Hello, below is my working solution for all browsers supporting flexbox. No negative margins.

Fiddle Demo

   
.flexbox {
  display: flex;
  flex-direction: row;
  flex-wrap: wrap;
  justify-content: space-between;
}

.flexbox > div {
  /*
    1/3  - 3 columns per row
    10px - spacing between columns 
  */
  box-sizing: border-box;
  margin: 10px 10px 0 0;
  outline: 1px dotted red;
  width: calc(1/3*100% - (1 - 1/3)*10px);
}

/*
  align last row columns to the left
  3n - 3 columns per row
*/
.flexbox > div:nth-child(3n) {
  margin-right: 0;
}

.flexbox::after {
  content: '';
  flex: auto;
}

/*
  remove top margin from first row
  -n+3 - 3 columns per row 
*/
.flexbox > div:nth-child(-n+3) {
  margin-top: 0;
}

<div class="flexbox">
  <div>col</div>
  <div>col</div>
  <div>col</div>
  <div>col</div>
  <div>col</div>
</div>

Take a note this code can be shorter using SASS

Update 2020.II.11 Aligned columns on the last row to the left

Update 2020.II.14 Removed margin-bottom in the last row