I'm trying to see what is inside all the objects of the Magento system, but when I try to var_dump the $_links variable (containing all information needed for rendering the links in the header of every page) from inside the top links template, my server responds with a 500 error. Anyone know why?
Dumps of Magento objects get a bit messy, even if there isn't recursion there is all the EAV and cache stuff. When you have an array you'll need to dump them individually:
foreach ($_links as $object) {
    var_dump($object->debug());
}
                        It's likely a memory error.  Magento's object can be huge, and the default var_dump implementation in PHP isn't that smart about some of the circular references. 
Install xDebug is a must.  With xDebug, the var_dump function gets a lot smarter, and the memory limit exhausted errors mostly go away.
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