This programmer can only be described as an action-packed winner with enough programming skills to stop the orbit of the moon. Greg Schmelter is right on the money as the saucy, sassy, wisecracking Java Developer who shoots all the bad guys, and gets all the chicks. Taught with a phenomenal Computer Science education from the University of Colorado Boulder, Schmelter spends his time fighting the forces of SQL query ineptitude and repeatedly satisfying upwards of 40 women at a time in some of the most lavish sex scenes ever achieved by man. Seldom does a moment of his life go by when he isn’t laying waste to half city blocks or messily garroting scores of testers who can’t tell an ‘Object’ from a ‘Class’. Frankly, it’s a wonder that his body count has gotten by legal authorities (with no convictions, unbelievably!), because we’ve had to stop counting corpses at eleven hundred. Taut and gripping ‘til the end, Greg pursues evil race conditions across the globe in some of the bloodiest yet truly gratifying coding sessions ever performed. With all the superlatives it may sound over the top, and would be if performed by the likes of Linus Torvalds or Donald Knuth, but Mr. Schmelter codes with the soul of a poet. Tragic yet beautiful, restrained and deeply human, he brings a rare sense of emotion and purpose to code that would otherwise be lost in the ranks of stale backend development. Watch closely as he types for a rare glimpse into genius.