I, the muficient and humble Q, The First Timelord, am back on your puny little planet and am rearranging my relationship with humanity in a form you may find familiar and will be pushing you, like a baby screaming out of her mother's womb - to become a space faring civilization!

Now space will be a mighty lonely place at times for you, my beloved yet incessant annoyances. And one can only play so many games of chess or games of poker and spades before one gets bored out of their skulls to the point of being downright suicidal with the long voyages between stellar objects your species will first have to endure as you overcome your technological and psychological hurdles to mroe advanced technologies.

Accordingly, I am here overseeing your transition to become a space faring civilization, and introducing holographic and holodeck technology to your population.

Yes, you too will be able to sit on the blue beaches of Astari in the binary star system Alpha-Omega while enjoying the typical red oceans and a massage by the exotic three breasted Astarians trained to be companions who distribute their holoprograms freely to emerging civilizations (I will provide to you once you've completed your first holodeck!)!

Yes you too can enjoy the luxuries of your own planet - whether it's skiing the Swiss Alps, walkig the canopy of the Costa Rican rainforests, or marvelling at the majestic wonders of Yosemite.

Yes, you too will be able to attend a Shakespeare play in the late 1600s, or walk alongside the dinosaurs in primevil Earth time.

Now I, the humble yet omnipotent man known as Q have inserted myself into your public consciousness through the television show you refer to as the 'fictional series' called Star Trek. But let me assure you, that man - miou - is real, and while I am quite tired of humanity, I am eager to see you venture into space outside of your imagination 'for the first time.

You have always held me infinitely curious

Feel free to pass this on to your colleagues.

Oh and just to be sure. Yes, aliens do exist. Greetings, Earthling.

With kind regards, - Q The First Timelord