As of August 2016:

• I am a rust enthusiast.

• I have been thoroughly seduced by the functional paradigm and pure languages like Haskell.

  • If only I knew how to get anything accomplished in them...

• My go-to tool is Python...

  • ...but only because I understand its shortcomings.

• I am currently doing materials research.

• I am emotionally burdened by the fact that FORTRAN still exists.

  • Yes, you can write like FORTRAN in any language, but my colleagues actually write FORTRAN.

The rest of the text that follows was written many, many years ago.

I just keep it around for the fossil record.

I'm an aspiring video game programmer who enjoys writing not just the code for his software but also the music, graphics, script, and even the font. Basically, I enjoy designing anything as long as I can use the computer as my medium.

I have a tendency to write large posts (and that is after an hour of revision in a futile effort to be more concise), so apologies if you get blasted by a wall of text. And the strange formatting on this website makes them look even worse, turning a wall of text into "the thing that came from outer space."
StackOverflow is a great community. It's a shame I can't help others very well; I'd like to become a prolific answerer but as of me writing this I'm finding it hard to find questions that are within the scope of my experience.

What do I program? I enjoy making video games. The first program I write is Hello World, and then I go straight to making a game. I always shoot too high; I want to make a game like you'd see on the SNES, but those kinds of games are made by teams of people, so needless to say I never get too far (but I get further each time).
Though lately, I've been starting to give up on making games because I never get anything finished. I've been busy building tools for personal use that help solve puzzles or modify computer games.
Languages I know, in descending order of experience:
VB.NET
TI-BASIC (TI-83 Plus)
Python
C#
Regular Expressions
PocketC (for Windows Mobile)
TI-BASIC (TI-89 Titanium)
Ruby
Scheme
Perl
Windows Shell and BASH
C++

Pet Peeves in programming:
1: Long-winded hierarchies for simple commands, like System.Drawing.Color.FromArgb.
2: Related to #1 above: Having long lines of code. Word wrap sucks. Horizontal scrollbars suck. I look for ways to abbreviate my code to avoid this.
3: Poor documentation.
4: No visible whitespace option in an IDE that clearly needs it. I'm looking at you, Portable Python.

Reminder: The text above is ancient. I'm talking Mesozoic era.