I've punted on the Cam, solved differential equations and eaten scallop green curry. On a clear night, I can locate Cassiopeia. I've worn Roman chain mail, parallel parked and eluded my handlers in a secure facility. I refuse to take calls from Alan Greenspan. I drive too fast and shower too slowly, but I never negotiate with terrorists. Sometimes I have trouble getting through Canadian customs. I avoid clichés like the plague. I can touch type without looking at the keyboard, give an excellent back rub, recite Jabberwocky from memory, fold a map and make export controlled munitions from a deck of ordinary playing cards. I dodge, I spin, I frolic and always wear clean socks. I have boarded a German submarine, criticized the Java Virtual Machine and gone ice skating in the spring. I'm skeptical but not cynical, kind but not weak, protective but not domineering, decisive but not inflexible, confident but not smug, gentle but not timid, courageous but not belligerent and sharp but not jagged.