Specifically what I'm looking for is the embedded video player functionality you would receive if you had just manually shared a YouTube video but done programmatically through the Graph API.
It appears that you have to extract the URLs of the actual swf in the page and the thumbnail image yourself.
For example, this seems to work:
curl -F 'access_token=...' \
-F 'message=Link to YouTube' \
-F 'link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aICB2mUu2k' \
-F 'source=http://www.youtube.com/v/3aICB2mUu2k' \
-F 'picture=http://img.youtube.com/vi/3aICB2mUu2k/0.jpg' \
https://graph.facebook.com/me/feed
See source: Posting an embedded video link using the Facebook Graph API
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